Memories of a happy death

As the bombs fell and kept obliterating everything into nothingness, I had made my peace with the frailty of the human condition. No point in asking for forgiveness to a god whose greatest joke was to give man free will and expect not to use it as desire deems. No time to spend on pointless things like these. The remaining time is better spent reflecting on regrets of what if. Reminiscing happy times will just intensify the pain of want.

Funnily, I can't remember her face anymore. Nor how I felt the moments we shared together. I try harder. Only moments of absolute loneliness comes up. The moments of vanity after joy, the smell of burnt candles after dinner, the lone cigarette during the wait of something exciting. I don't remember the good moments that follow at all, I can't. What is this? Not even regrets come up to haunt me in this after hour of existence. I sigh